How I Met the “Man of My Dreams”

As a young woman, did you ever talk about the “man of your dreams?”

Yes, I know. Me too.

Between giggles and flushed faces, as young girls we would talk about what life would be like when we grew up, moved away from home, got married, and had children of our own.

Fast-forward many years, and I’m living my dream. Except my “children” have paws, bushy tails, and whiskers!

I married Rick at the age of 44. He had two grown sons, Isaiah and Jacob, from a previous marriage. I also have an adorable daughter-in-law, Tiffany, who is married to Isaiah.

And a grandbaby on the way…but that’s another blog story.  😀 

Though our marriage isn’t perfect, we’ve not experienced much of the angst and roller-coaster emotions that pervade many marriages.

We attribute this to God’s blessing, the excellent pre-marital counseling we received, maturity level at the time of our marriage, and a vast array of other life experiences.

The Wonderful Thing about Tiggers

Can I let you in on a little secret?

My pet name for my husband is “Tigger.” Yes, after the beloved fictional tiger originally introduced in A. A. Milne’s book, “The House at Pooh Corner.”

I call him this mainly because he can be a little hyper at times or “bouncy.” But in a good way! He’s much more spontaneous and fun-loving than me.

I tend to be more guarded and analytical with a dry sense of humor. Fortunately, we’ve discovered our personalities complement each other.

Conversation comes easy most of the time as does comfortable silence.

Our favorite time together is over early morning coffee. While sipping a little java, we’ll sit quietly to read our daily Bible readings and devotions.

We treasure this time together, and it’s become a consistent, strong component of our marriage.

We rarely watch television; it sits idle most of the time. Occasionally, I like to watch a good classic movie or an episode of Jeopardy, but most of the time we leave it off.

Something tells me that it’s been good for our marriage not to have the television on because we don’t even miss it!

How We Met

We first met at a local church where we were both active in the Singles Ministry. Taking long hikes and bicycle rides were activities we enjoyed with other Christian singles. We joined the church at about the same time, and the next step was to attend an orientation class.

The “Car Dealer”

Looking around the room, I didn’t recognize anyone else in the orientation class except Rick.

To be friendly, I approached him and asked him whether he happened to be the local car dealer who shared his same name.

“Oh, everybody asks me that,” he said while turning away.

He then started talking to another person, whisked up his class materials, and moved across the room to another seat.

We laugh often now about this first encounter because he insists he doesn’t remember moving across the room.

I think he’s smart not to remember it, don’t you?

“Goo-Goo” Eyes and a Prayer

Another time I had brought my best friend, Christy, to Sunday School.

“Is there anyone here you’re interested in?” she said grinning.

“Why are you grinning like that” I asked, puzzled at her demeanor.

She leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Because there’s a guy on the other side of the room making ‘goo-goo’ eyes at you.”

I turned and met Rick’s eyes. They did have this dreamy quality about them, but I remained unconvinced.

“I think you’re misreading him,” recounting my experience with him at the orientation class.

“I don’t think so,” she replied teasingly.

A couple of weeks later Rick and I happened to be standing next to each other when the Sunday School leader asked everyone to join hands in prayer.

We bowed our heads and clasped hands together.

At the end of the prayer, I released my left hand from the person adjacent to me and well…attempted to release my right hand.

But Rick held mine firmly in his grasp. I don’t remember what he said, but I do remember it took a few more seconds for him to let go.

Hmmm…was something up?

Rebuffed

Rick was teaching a children’s class during worship and asked me if I could substitute teach for his friend, Laura. I agreed.

After church on Wednesday night, he called to ask if he could drop by my house with the lesson materials. I said sure and gave him directions. Upon his arrival, I met him at the door, chatted for a few minutes and he gave me the materials.

At least, that’s how I remember it.

His version to our friends now is that I “guarded” the door, did not invite him in (true statement), and was not all that welcoming.

It’s true I didn’t invite him in, but it probably had more to do with me not being the greatest housekeeper (I also had three cats at the time).  Plus, I still didn’t know him that well.

But that was about to change.

Bible Left in the Driveway

“So guess what I found in the driveway?” my niece Danni asked, enjoying razzing me a little bit.

“I have no idea, what?” I replied.

“Rick’s Bible.”

“Really?” “He must have left it there when we were passing baseball.”

“Uh-huh” she said, smiling.

“We’re just good friends!” I retorted. I don’t think she was convinced.

Inexplicable Happenings

Some unexplainable things were beginning to happen.

No one except Rick and I would show up for planned events for the entire Sunday School class. Other singles didn’t seem to want to commit to the hiking and biking activities.

Another time, we were attending the same evening Bible study at one of the single’s homes. Rick was leading the study, and at some point, asked for a volunteer to co-lead.

You guessed it!

No one else volunteered, so I agreed to do it.

As it turned out, a new “host” location was also needed so I volunteered my house. I still had the cats, but had removed the old carpet.

Rick would arrive early to my house, and we would plan our discussion for the next week.

One of the more challenging studies was “The Screwtape Letters” by C. S. Lewis. It is a satirical piece with deep theological components.

It’s fair to say we spent a lot of time with C. S., the dictionary, and several references for that study. Whew! But it turned out to be one of our favorite studies!

The Prayer

During one of the Bible studies at my home, something unexpected happened.

It was time for prayer, and no one had volunteered. So Rick took the lead and began to pray.

He bowed his head and spoke sweet words of humbleness, gratitude and grace to our holy God and Redeemer.

But what I noticed most was Rick talking to God as if He were his close, personal friend.

I opened my eyes. After watching his facial expressions, and listening for a few seconds, I closed my eyes, wiping away the unexpected tears.

I knew at that moment that Rick was someone I could trust and love unconditionally, just as God loved me.

But I wasn’t convinced those feelings were reciprocated.

The Bike Trail and the Kitchen

We can usually recall where we were when significant events happen.

We were on a bike trail when Rick asked me, off the cuff, what I wanted out of life. Without hestitating, I answered:

“I want a few acres to have a farm and lead a simpler life.”

“You’re going to make this friendship thing hard, aren’t you?” he asked.

Weeks later after a Bible study in my home, Rick stayed after everyone else had left. I was returning snack items to the refrigerator when he posed the question:

“So what if I told you that I find you attractive?”

I was momentarily mesmerized; he said later, I appeared shocked.

I thought I looked at him for a few seconds; he said it seemed like several minutes.

I admit I was stunned. I thought he saw me as his “buddy.” Plus, he frequently remarked in conversation that he didn’t know if he could get married again, with emphasis on the “again.”

I remember him swaying from side to side, looking at me, and waiting for a response.

I was still mentally processing his question.

I saw him bolt from the kitchen.

Before I could respond, I heard the door closing, and the sound of his truck pulling out of the driveway.

He said later, “I thought I had blew it.” He thought by risking taking our relationship to the next level, he had just ruined a beautiful friendship.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The Canoe Trip

Today, we still have to convince people we didn’t really date, at least not in the traditional sense.  I think it helped that we didn’t initially see ourselves from a romantic standpoint.

As friends, we were “real” throughout our time together. No pretense.  And we were friends who enjoyed taking adventures. 

Speaking of adventure, a canoe trip was a good idea for our next adventure. Something different than the usual bicycle riding.

I convinced myself it was then that I would tell him of my TB history.

Afterall, we would be too far from shore for him to bail out of the canoe.

It would be a long swim for him if he “freaked out” upon hearing the news and dove off the side (I know this sounds silly, but in my head, it was in the realm of possibilities).

In a beautiful area known as the “Cove” we rented a canoe, and Rick oared out into the open water.

I was quiet, uncomfortably quiet.

I dreaded telling him.

I was thinking how badly this could turn out and contemplated aborting my plan.

But it was too late.

“So what is it that you need to tell me?” Rick asked.

“It’s hard for me to talk about.”

I was beginning to tear up. 

“Just say it,” he said.

“Well, when I was 17, I got TB from my grandfather.”

A few seconds went by.

“Did you just have a positive skin test or the actual disease?” he asked.

There was a glimmer of hope; he was more knowledgeable than I expected.

“I had the active disease; I took medication for about a year to treat it.”

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?” he said nonchalantly.

“Yes,” I stammered. “That’s pretty much it.”

A Wonderful Thing

Today, Rick still says he thought I was going to tell him something more “serious.”

Do you see why I love this man I call ” Tigger?” 

He will always be a little hyper or “bouncy.”

He is also “one-of-a-kind.”

And the only one for me.

And on his being a Tigger?

Just like love, it truly is a wonderful thing!