Sharing Our Grief with Others

Sharing Our Grief with Others

Tuesday of this week, I received a heart-breaking call that a former co-worker and friend had passed away suddenly.

He was a uniquely gifted man who was all of these things and more: brilliant, dedicated, compassionate, selfless, and a man of integrity.

I had mentioned to Gary the possibility of writing a guest blog for me on this website.

Instead, this blog is dedicated to his memory.

Our Friend and Co-Worker

Gary was always thinking of others.

Whether he was mentoring new hires in the technical fields of radiological protection, industrial hygiene, or safety, creating reports, developing white papers, or presenting, he did all his work with characteristic excellence.

And although technically-oriented in his work, he was noted for his kindness, warmth and hospitality to everyone he came in contact with.

We had last exchanged e-mails only a couple of weeks prior to my receiving the call.

In typical fashion, Gary had reached out to let me know of another former co-worker who was ill and in the hospital. Someone we both had worked with extensively, and he knew I would want to know.

Gary was fondly spoken of as “one-r” Gary in reference to the spelling of his name, distinguishing him from another “Garry” in the group who spelled his name with two r’s.

Another nuance is that Gary typically would end his e-mails with a salutation that included a dash and then “little g” for the first letter of his name. He did this even though he possessed multiple technical certifications in many scientific fields: CHP, CIH, CSP, CHMM, etc.  (The “etc” is because I’m sure I’ve left one or more out!).

I always thought this lack of pretentiousness indicated what a humble man he was.

He was also a fun person.

He had this dry, and somewhat sardonic, sense of humor and unmatched wit that could make us all belly-laugh and feel better — even when the circumstances we were dealing with may have seemed bleak.

Acknowledging our Grief

My mind is beginning to process the truth of this new reality, that Gary is gone from this earth.

As his friends, we are praying for his wife, Jody, his children, and grandchildren, that he deeply loved. We recognize that their pain is insurmountably greater than ours.

Somehow, we hope that by acknowledging and sharing our grief with each other, our collective pain is lessened, if only a little.

As each one of us must grieve, in his/her own way, and in our own time.

Grateful

I am grateful to have known Gary and to have the privilege of working with him for so many years.

And although I know from his personal witness that Gary is in his heavenly home, I still miss him.

For those who believe in Jesus Christ, we know and are comforted that death is not the end:

“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.”

— John 10:28 (NIV)

In Loving Memory of:

— gary

Born: July 21, 1953
Died: January 14, 2018